Thursday, May 19, 2011

Audible Porn

...if that's what someone offered you to listen to, you might say, "No thanks!"
If they offered it to your child, hopefully you would say, "Heck No, Pervert!"

You might be surprised between the hypothetical situation and your actual real life reaction.

     There was a young boy in Sunday school who summed up this situation perfectly.  He    
            "If Satan wanted you to eat dog poop, he wouldn't just hand it to you.  He'd 
            cover it in chocolate and sprinkles and present it to you as a doughnut."

Everyone loves doughnuts.

This isn't that different.  Any guesses to what I'm talking about?

I was raised in the era of teeny bop sensations, Backstreet Boys and Brittney Spears.  They weren't saints but they slipped in hidden ineundos.  They mostly stuck to ballads of puppy love and broken hearts.  I'm talking about the Brittney Spears Pre-Madonna kiss.  That just took it to a whole nother level.

Now they don't even try and hide it.  They OPENLY sell SEX.  Now I wasn't born yesterday, I know that SEX, DRUGS, & ROCK-N-ROLL have been around long before I was born.  And sexual promiscuity has always been an issue in one form or another but at least they didn't go into graphic detail about the sexual acts they were performing.  It was mostly inferred or assumed.

With songs like S&M by Rhianna and pretty much anything by Lady Gaga, its hard to imagine why there is so much premarital teen sex?  (or gasp...even YOUNGER)  Of course the songs with catchiest beat and melody, are the most damaging (think about the doughnut analogy)

For instance, there was this song I heard on the radio, "In My Head".  I'd only heard the chorus but from what I could understand, the guy was thinking about how much he loved this girl, and how he dream of them being together forever.  Sweet, right?  WRONG!  I heard very wrong because when I actually caught the whole song on the radio and listened to the verses,  he was pretty much wanting a booty call and random sex with the girl while cheating on her boyfriend.  And oh yeah, it had a catchy tune.  Surprised? I'm not.

NEWSFLASH:  You're listening to porn.  I'm taking the sprinkles and the chocolate off for you.  Almost every song on the radio is like this.  It's gotten completely out of control!  What's worse, I hear little kids, singing "I want to freak you like this and that"  Do they even know what "freaking" is?  And further more... freaking is just a "nice" (if you can call it that) for a waaaay worse word.

Which leads me to my next point.  Slang.  Slang makes it sounds nicer.  They're still pretty descriptive when it comes to the actions.  But what if they had to use the actual technical terms vs slang.

Here's an example,  Lady GaGa's song, "LOVE GAME" (by the way, nothing to do with love)

Verse from song:
"Let's Have some fun, this beat is sick"
"I want to take a ride on your disco stick"

"Let's have random sex, because this song is cool"
"I want to have sex on your penis and most likely contract an STD or get pregnant"

Not as cool, huh?  Not to mention there aren't a lot of things that rhyme with "penis" or "vagina."

And the song has a catchy beat.

If they had to use realistic scenarios and anatomical terms.  I doubt the songs would be that appealing. Furthermore, they'd be censored out.  So what do they do?  They hide it by calling it something else, such as a food item or inanimate object.  Sneaky. Sneaky.

The songs are also not realistic.  They immortalize and fantasize sex.  "Sex makes you cool." "Sex is crazy and wild and is the most amazing thing in the world."  "We'll make up a cool dance to go with the song so they'll forget it's really about sex and little kids will do it too."  Don't get me wrong, I'm a married woman.  I enjoy sex with my husband. I'm allowed, but it's something special I share with him and its sacred.  Not to be desecrated and mocked with songs like this.

The message I'm trying to get across is not "SEX is BAD"  because sex is not a bad thing if you are married and in a point where you can handle the kind of commitment and emotion it brings. There is a time and place for everything. My point is that the media is putting audible porn on the radio and tv's and getting away with it!  The music videos can be considered soft core porn and I've seen lingerie that covers more than what some people are being allowed to wear and perform in.  (Glitter should never be considered clothing)

When Mitchell and I got married, (we saved ourselves for marriage) we had that special time together on our honeymoon.  It was very special and to know that we were sharing that with each other alone made it worth even more.  Your whole life, you've built up this idea of what sex was going to be like.  What do you have to base it off of if you have no real life experience?  The media.  Because everything in the media is real (sense the sarcasm radiating off that statement.)  The problem is how the media portrays sex and sexuality,  it makes sex this life altering, earth-moving event.  Which it is, but not in the aspect they are presenting it.  After our honeymoon, we both agreed sex wasn't all it was hyped up to be.  I mean, it's awesome to share that with someone, the feelings, the emotions, the commitment, the complete venerability with another human being.  But it's nothing like they describe in the media.
There's no sparkly vampire telling you to hold still while he gently caresses your upper lip before you go into a make out session.  (Obviously because vampires aren't real)

These songs give guys they idea, that you're not a man if you don't have sex or that women are just items to be used for sexual favors.  That what is sexy, is wearing butt floss and calling it shorts.  These songs give girls the idea, if I really love him, I'll have sex with him or dress this way so he'll think I'm sexy.  There is no need for a teenage girl to feel SEXY.  Cute, yes?  SEXY? No.  Sexy is for when you are married and are putting on lingerie for your husband.  Not for the whole world to see.

Mitch asked me the other day if I'd heard the Katie Perry song, ET?  Catchy tune, horrible message.  Yes the chorus isn't as bad as the verses, but I won't tolerate even PART of a bad song.  I don't want it in my head.  I don't want it to take away the sweet spirit in my home, my life.  That's another sneaky tool... take a perfectly good thing and poison it with just a little bad.  Just a little wrong never hurt anyone?
Well it doesn't hurt, at first.  First you tolerate, then you accept, and then you act.

So why is it so bad to listen to these songs?  This audible porn?  Because you get it in your head, you start singing it out loud, you start thinking a certain way and then you start acting a certain way.

I'm not dumb enough to think that these songs cause teen pregnancy.  People's actions and lack of responsible choices cause that.  You choose and take the consequences, good or bad.  But these songs don't uplift you, they certainly aren't healthy and won't make you feel better about yourself.  Life is hard enough without the added temptation.

I worry about Bella and I know I can't protect her from the world.  It's too big.  But I can make my home a place of peace. I can choose what songs I will and won't listen to or allow in my home.  I can teach her the correct terms and not the slang.  I will teach her sex is not bad, because it's not.  I'll talk to her openly about these things and answer her questions honestly.  Communication is key, because if they aren't hearing it from us, they are getting it from the media or their friends, and they are almost always not a reliable source.

I hope this opens your thoughts to a different perspective of the new "pop culture"  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Wrong, right, or indifferent, this is how I feel.

...and that's what she said.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Welcome to "That's What She Said..."

I have a family blog but I also have an opinion.  It doesn't really go with the theme of what my daughter just did or about our day so I created this blog.  I've got ideas and I need a place to release them.

This is the place.

I'm really excited about this and am very interested to see where this might take us.  I'd love to hear from you and your thoughts!  If there's something you're thinking and want me to discuss.  Put it out there.  I want this to be an open forum of discussion and respect.

I'm not an expert of any sort and my credentials are my life experience.  My opinion isn't any better than yours and vice versa.  My main goal is to inspire and enlighten.

Without further adieu, HERE... WE...GO!

...and that's what she said.